Less anxiety + effective action = better. Here's how to do it.

So I’m pretty clear that for 2017 my big mission is to lead women to admit, accept and embrace what’s true for them—and then support them in discovering and expressing their own unique magic. So, that’s pretty fun!

We each have something magnificent to offer the world.

Big or small, to be whispered or shouted, we’ve all got something, and we get the time we have on this planet to find it and share it.

Some people seem to know right away what that thing is for them, like those kids who know in kindergarten they’re going to be veterinarians, and others…not so much. Some people seem to be on lifelong searches for their purpose while others aren’t particularly curious about whether or not they have one. And somewhere in there are the people who feel pulled, called really, to do something, often something they can see so clearly they can describe it to you, but they just don’t know how to make it happen.

Those are the people I work with. The people with big, transformational visions. I help them take those big, transformational visions and make them real. From concept to launch, from creative work to limiting beliefs, we move through what they’re facing so they can fully express what they’re meant to share with the world.

And in the pages of my JOYmails this year, I’m going to share what I’ve learned, and continue to learn, along the way. Starting now.

Worry Dolls (They actually look kind of happy to me, except for the rope around their necks...)

Worry Dolls
(They actually look kind of happy to me, except for the rope around their necks...)

One thing I’ve noticed A LOT lately is how much frickin’ time people (myself included) spend in worry and anxiety, which literally sucks up time and prevents us from doing the things we say we really want to be doing.

Just last week I had almost the same conversation with two different clients, both of whom were feeling daunted by large projects. One is transitioning her career and the other is collaborating on a book. Both women WANT what’s on the other end of the work, both are extremely bright and capable, both have done things like this before. And both were just getting waylaid by anxiety.

In both cases we narrowed it down to their getting stuck because they needed something—information or help—and they didn’t want to ask for it. They either felt embarrassed about not knowing something (“It should be something that I know, something I’m able to do myself, I don’t want to seem silly or helpless”), or worried that they would be “annoying” or bothering someone if they asked for help.

So, a lot of time was being spent feeling anxious, making up what other people thought or would think of them, and feeling bad about themselves because of what they didn’t know AND because of how stuck they were and how far they were from where they wanted to be in terms of real, hard results. As my daughter says, phewph! That's a lot to carry around. No wonder they felt pretty crappy.

Hands reaching toward each other

SO. We created a process that cuts right through the dizzying thoughts that drag you down and knock you off course, and instead helps you focus on specific actions you can take that will move you forward into effective action.

So much better, right??

We called it Partnering, because it’s about both partnering with others to get what you need, and partnering with the Universe to move you towards your goals with greater ease. And here it is for YOU to use, should you ever feel the need:

PARTNERING

STEP 1: Acknowledge the anxiety you’re feeling. Don’t judge it, simply see it and accept that it’s there.

STEP 2: Pinpoint what it’s about (instead of letting everything collapse into it so it becomes about you as a whole person and how you handle things and what you’re capable of and not capable of and then spirals out of control until you’re just a puddle of failure waiting to be mopped up).

STEP 3: Sit down and answer these questions (ideally writing the answers down somewhere, since that helps you absorb the information better):

1. What’s the goal?

2. What’s the action I need to take to accomplish that goal?

3. Is there any information I don’t have that’s stopping me from taking that action?

4. In what place or from whom can I find that information?

5. Is that information I can have right now?

6. If not, what steps can I take now to work on getting that information?

STEP 4: Ground yourself by saying this out loud: “I am capable and I ask questions and use my resources to move towards my goals.”

 

That last step is really important--it speaks to what's often at the core of people's anxiety around asking for help, feeling good enough, and having faith that you can accomplish your greatest (and smallest) visions. You can play with the phrase to make it fit you better if this one doesn't resonate, just make sure you say something that acknowledges and affirms all of the good things you already are, and reminds you that you're 100% entitled to need what you need and to do what you need to do to get it.

Because you are. And when you own that, you really start to access--and can much more easily share--your own unique magic. So let me know how it goes! JOY!!