WHY do I sometimes think that something is such a good idea, and then it turns out to be such a bad idea but I keep going anyway, like if I can just force myself through it it will be totally worth it? This is what just happened to me, and some ways it might help you when your own brilliant ideas have you banging your head against the wall...
Just a quick heads up--YOU ARE ALREADY OF VALUE. Full stop. End of sentence. No qualifiers.
You do not have to be more productive.
You do not have to earn more money.
You do not have to lose weight.
You do not have to be a better parent.
You do not have to write your book, organize your house or launch your business.
There is NOTHING you have to do right now in order to be a valuable, worthy human being. You do not have to earn your place in this world.
Oh my gosh, I just did something that scared that crap out of me. Last week I was challenged to do my first Facebook Live video, on the theme "The Top 5 Ways Wonder Woman is a Visionary." I was TOTALLY going to bag on it.
And then I didn't. And I'm really, really glad I didn't. Here's why...
I had a conversation yesterday with a client, we'll call her Millicent, who has, not one, but multiple fantastic, creative, transformative, BIG visions, and who seems to be growing in doubt and fear the closer she comes to realizing them. That doesn't surprise me, since the farther we get from our comfort zone and what's known and "safe," the more threatened our ego mind becomes, and the more it starts kicking up the volume on all the reasons why we can't do what we're doing, why it's a terrible idea, and why we're going to fail (and end up on the street, and die, if we're really going to follow this path to its logical conclusion).
Ever try to do something that seems like a really smart idea, an idea that will save you time and/or money and/or energy? And then it totally blows up in your face and ends up costing you MORE time and/or money and/or energy than it would have if you'd done it the regular way in the first place?
In the spirit of gratitude to all of the people who have shared their vulnerable moments over the years, and helped me feel less alone and more hopeful in so many areas of my life, I am sharing with you what spilled out of me in a moment (a long moment) of fear and shame and sadness. This is the exchange I had with my ego last week. I hope you find in it something of value to help you through any downward-spiraling moments of your own, if you ever happen to have any...
Been hitting a wall?
If so, you're not alone. According to The Power Path's monthly forecast, the theme of July is "Growing Pains." If my life, or the lives of pretty much all of my clients, are any indication, these shamans have it dead straight:
So a month ago, at 11:30 on a Tuesday night, I suddenly became possessed by the idea that I had to join a gym. (For those of you who know me, "join a gym" was not even close to the phrase you would have expected to follow the words, "I had to." Even I was shocked by the overwhelming pull I was feeling to do this.)
A couple of weeks ago I attended my son’s school talent show. He is seven. He held up a glass and showed the audience that there was a quarter in the glass. It was good that he said this, because I don’t think anyone in the audience could actually see that there was a quarter in the glass. Then he made the quarter disappear. (I don’t think anyone could actually see this either.)
I just got this note from someone who participated in my last Get One Thing Done Day, we'll call her Abby:
"I 'got one thing done,' Jennifer, and put project to-do lists on my bulletin board, plus made shelves for individual project papers. But there are so many. I'm a KALEIDOSCOPE, with many interests. Setting priorities is hard. I end up doing the urgent things, jumping from one to another, all so important."
First of all, if you're my dad, you may want to seriously consider not reading the rest of this article. Same goes for you if you're the kind of person who gets squeamish talking about ladies' undergarments.OK, now that that's out of the way--I don't know about you, but I pretty much hate wearing bras. Every once in a while I'll luck into one that fits so comfortably that I forget that I'm wearing it, but most of the time I feel like I'm stuck in a harness that I can't wait to rip off.